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December 28, 2018, 12:04 PM

ARE WE “GHOSTING” OURSELVES??


Have we for so long found or looked for our “identity” based on what roles we’ve played in the lives of our loved ones, family and friends??  Some of these could be…wife, girlfriend, lover, cook, housekeeper, mother, employer, boss, sister, daughter, friend, minister, pastor, counselor, mentor, speaker, volunteer,…and the list goes on!  How can I truly come to a clear “DEFINING” of who I am by ONLY the “FUNCTION” I play in the lives of SO many of the people that are in my sphere of influence? I think that is why sometimes in MIDLIFE when our lives experience the “LOSS” of a particular function or loss of a person, we are then smacked upside our newly found grey head, that we can no longer determine our value or get our affirmation of our identity from the “FUNCTION” of a person, as our  “FUNCTION” has ceased to exist!

SO we find we are in a befuddled mess of emotions and thoughts and feelings…all coming back to the age old questions:  WHO AM I?  WHY AM I HERE?  WHAT IS MY ETERNAL PURPOSE?

We come to this place of moving into the Stage 1 of DISENGAGING to go inward…to practice the pause to SEEK AFTER the ANSWERS to those questions! 

We move into a “Mid Life Quest for Identity”.  This quest might even endure into the ages of 50-60 years old, as circumstances continue to change, and desires continue to resurface, or maybe even be discarded as no longer relevant to us.  There is a theory in modern day psychology called Maslow’s Heirarchy of Human Needs.  We women feel the pressure of meeting our eternal needs of safety, sustainability, and status on their own.  We have a “restless craving” to realize our potential.  It’s all about RE-DISCOVERY of our amazing “greatness.”  The dilemma lies in the fact no one particular person can really define what that greatness or success looks like for us, as it is very individual for each person.  Some say that this search for greatness, or our grand purpose has no real definitive goal or destination.  Therein lies what some call the “CHALLENGE”….that in our search of REDEFINING who we are, there is ambiguity.  SO not everyone, and sometimes not even we ourselves will understand where we are at on this journey of a “Spiritual Transformation”!

For me personally, I can go to my Bible and allow myself to read who GOD says I am, as HE is my creator, and what HIS purpose is for me.  But I think because of EGO or SELF, we sometimes get distracted and taken off course of that God-pronounced long ago as our destiny…and need a time to get back in our own LANE of where it is we now fit.

I personally have seen so many try and “copy” or “duplicate” what others are doing, in the same way they are doing it…and they LOSE their own God-given design and purpose as GOD’s specific creation – and as one who has your own DNA, unlike anyone else! 

So…in trying to FIT IN to the NORM into society, careers and ministry purposes, have we LOST our TRUE SELF??  Have we just said YES to all the other people’s demands of us, and become what OTHER’s have expected us to be?  Have we really just been “people pleasers” all our lives, serving the needs of others—just so we can get the proverbial pat on the back and the affirmation of others that build up our ego?  And there are good things that come of serving, but in doing this I want to remind us all to NOT LOSE our AUTHENTIC SELF!

In essence,  I believe we have “GHOSTED”our true self!  By doing this, we start doing things from a place of other’s expections and out of a sense of obligation, rather than it being our SOUL’S CORE PURPOSE and HEARTFELT PASSION!!!  We start to get uneasy, aggravated, unhappy, tired, burnt out, and just become…well, BLAH!! LIFE BLOBS with NO JOY!

I want to encourage ALL of us…to seek and go after the DEFINITION of WHO you are, FOR REAL!  We need an ENCOUNTER with the DEEP REALITY of who we are as individuals!  Stop trying to imitate a “fake ideal” and truly DISCOVER….YOU! Be open to experiment with trying new things, going new places and meeting new people….strap yourself in…it’s about to get crazy!

Let’s go on this JOURNEY TOGETHER…stay tuned. 


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